Monday, August 01, 2005

My Z's Key'D

So my car got keyed the other night.

I went out with some ex-colleagues to a bar here in Stamford, and when I came back to my car an anonymous stranger had left me the gift of art on the driver side of my Z. Nice.

I took it up the next day to a body shop for an estimate. $3,000.00. At least I have insurance that will cover it, but I still have a $500.00 deductable. Sucks.

I spent the rest of the day thinking about ways to protect my car from future attacks.

1. Electrify the car. Or at least the doors. Key touches door, zap. Problem: will probably suck the battery dry in 5 minutes, and I'll probably be liable for manslaughter.

2. Clear-coat the car. They have clear coating that protects cars against chips and rocks, but I haven't seen it for key scratches. Problem: I don't think it will look very nice.

3. Rabid angry dog. Touch the key to the car, and a 200W speaker plays back recorded angry rabid dog sounds. Could be good.

4. Rabid angry owner. Same as above, only plays back recordings on me telling the guy to get the FU*K away from my car!

5. Corrosive skin. Some kind of material on the door that will eat the key on contact? Ha ha!

6. Video surveillance. Cameras inside the car automatically record any motion through the windows and record it on mini hard drive. Problem: since when will the police help?

7. Inflatable Fake Car. Full-size inflatable car that is nicer than mine, like a Ferrarri or something. 'Park' it next to yours as a decoy. I like this one. Heh heh.

Hmmm. I'll have to think of more ideas here; I'm sure I'm not the only one who would appreciate a solution.


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